that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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