Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I think your dad took our porno
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
