and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Dignity is for republicans.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
Randomize
