508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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