anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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