Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize
