Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
