The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
do herpes really smell.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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