Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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