On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I'm at about main and main street
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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