Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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