Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
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You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
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i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
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