You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
