fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
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