She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
As shirtless as possible
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
