Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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