I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
