We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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