Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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