They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
