I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
