Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
