arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
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