the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize