I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
