p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
