Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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