I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
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