i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
