I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
