she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You're best friend just tackled me....naked....brought me to his room where he had freshly baked cinnamon rolls. I didn't know he could cook
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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