Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
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