I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
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