We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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