Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
I enjoy the company of your penis
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
