wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
I just want nice things and good sex
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
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