Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Randomize
