I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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