I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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