i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
