Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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