my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
This house was built for laser tag.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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