It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
My ass is underappreciated
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
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