He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
the room spins SO much faster in panama
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
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