I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
