I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize