Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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