I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Randomize
