I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
