HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
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Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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