You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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