You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Randomize
