Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
