Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
