Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
My roommate just caught me cleaning a tostitos queso jar with my hand and eating it. He didn't judge. Bonding moment.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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