I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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