Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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