Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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