y did u give ur computer a hand job?
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
