You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize
