the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
